


Tears Falling Down At The Party

by olanolaola (orphan_account)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sad, Sad and Sweet, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25399540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/olanolaola
Summary: Onesided love from two different people.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	Tears Falling Down At The Party

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Jack Staubers song Oh Klahoma  
> can be found here  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ClTSzOQrkY  
> thought it fit for some good old fashioned kenma angst

Kenmas POV:  
I rarely go to parties for various reasons but after meeting Shōyō he brought light into my life like the sun he is. Parties are filled with people, crowds, drinking, loud music, and judgement. I feel like all eyes are on me and not in a good way. I feel as if they look at me and think “why is he here” or “why is he standing like that and why is he wearing that, so gross.” It’s an everyday thing that I can avoid by staying home or sticking by my comfort crowd but parties are a whole nother story, I can't avoid the anxieties that will override my brain at such an event. The only reason I'm going is because Kuroo has wanted me to go to a party all year and since it's his last year I decided I'd finally go to one with him. Okay that's half the truth, he drew me in with the fact Shōyō would be there. I find comfort in just looking at him. He doesn't seem to negatively judge anyone. He has a positive outlook and even when down can shine through. I envy him and love him for that. Since I met him my interest in volleyball actually became existent and I became interested in him. The way he is so passionate about a sport I don't really see the big deal about. How he still strives forward even after setbacks. His smile can brighten up anyone's day and recently has been living in my mind rent free. Every match against him leaves me thinking about it at night as I drift to sleep. I lay hugging my pillow and feeling warmth remembering the way his eyes show a fiery passion. Like the sun he is he can bring warmth but also burn you with his power. I wouldn't mind being burned by him even if it meant I just gotta have some relationship with him but as usual I feel invisible, just call it noting.  
\---  
I open the door and am greeted with a hallway to God who knows house. The hallway leading to a living room with a lil kitchen besides it is filled with people. People from our school that would never bother to give me a glance and when they did it felt as if it was a glare judging my soul. Seeing some people look over at Kuroo and I enter the front door already made me feel uneasy. I felt sick. I wanted to find a corner and cradle up in it. We walked through the hallway and were immediately in a sea of people and as I looked down for a moment I looked up to see Kuroo nowhere in sight. Great… Should I go home? I might die… My heads spinning, my hearts racing, I feel as if I'm going to cry but it's not as if I want to. My anxieties over take me but that's until I see him. Shōyō. As I look at him it's as if I am laying in my warm comforter after a shower. It's as if I'm hugging laundry out of the dryer. He's laughing with a group of people and I don't look away. His smile eases my nerves and I want to walk towards him but don't want to interrupt him or ruin his time. I'm fine just observing him, that's enough for me. That's until he looks up and locks eyes with me, they light up which makes my heart skip a beat. He waves to me and the group he was with dismembers a bit and goes to either drink or talk with others. I walk towards him and just feel heard. I wish I could tell him how much a light to my life he is, an inspiration to power through. “Hey Kenma!” Hearing him say my name got me overwhelmed, it's not overwhelming from the usual negative attention yet from just the excitement in him saying my name. No one ever seems this excited to see me, I mean who would be. I give him a smile and he unlike others hears me, I don't speak but he can just tell how I'm feeling, what I want to say. “You texted me about that game the other day and I was looking up walkthroughs. It seems really cool! Lik- Kageyamas here!” I don't even have time to react. My mouth left a gape. He walks towards Kageyama and starts to jump excitedly. The fire in his eyes is there. More passion towards him then he’ll ever have towards me. I go to grab a drink assuming that it would be some fruit punch type sugary beverage but immediately scrunch up my face and spit back into the cup and throw it out.  
I go find a corner to sit in. I thought for once things would be different. I thought I would just hide myself away. I thought that fire in his eyes was reserved for me, I thought it was special, but he has it for everyone but it's different towards Kageyama. The fire in his eyes is filled with passion and joy by his presence, not just the usual joy Shōyō carries with him. I take out my phone and start doing random junk. I look up from it and shut it off. I just watch alone with my knees to my chest, that's until I see Kageyama with Shōyō. Shōyō is all over Kageyama. I don't know what took over me but I couldn't hold it in. Tears pricked my eyes. Before I knew it my vision was blurred by tears. 

Tears falling down at the party

I bury my head in my knees and clench my fist. 

Saddest little baby in the room

All I feel is pain, sadness, betrayal even though we had nothing in the first place. It hits me like a truck, it's all one sided.  
Fears, tell me fears, don't get me started  
Of course he'd never like someone like me for the sun would never like a dying star among billions. 

I get a little grey hair for every scare you share

Kuroos pov:  
It has almost been 2 hours since I last saw Kenma. Immediately as we walked in the party we got separated by the sea of people. I need to check up on him. I might not show it on the exterior but I am panicked. I know how he feels about parties and the fact we have been separated for this long, anything could have happened to him. I shouldn't have even waited this long, I'm such a shitty friend. I got carried away by all these people that “know me”. I wouldn't even have been able to communicate with people if I never met Kenma so why did I abandon him at an event he hates the most. I thought I could find him with Hinata but when I asked around for Hinata it became apparent that he was occupied with Karasuno's star setter. I feel sick. Now I truly understand how Kenma feels almost everyday. It's been years since I felt this anxious because I've always had Kenam at my side reassuring me as I reassured him. I know how Kenma feels about Hinata. Since the two first met by coincidence and he told me about this hyper first year with the eyes of fiery passion I could see a difference in Kenma and how he treated things. Hinata changed Kenma's outlook on certain things but Hinata didn't even realize his effect on Kenma. Hinata reserving that passion for someone else must have destroyed him and knowing Kenma is destroyed demolished me. I was frantic looking for him until I spotted the all familiar undyed roots. I let out a breath knowing where he is and I trudge towards him. I crouch down as his face is buried in his arms and knees. I whisper his name but get no reaction. I look to the side so i can see his face and the dried tear marks are apparent. 

I hear your eyes and I see those cries

I wish I could take the pain for him. I wish I could be the one to change Kenmas outlook and bring him true light into his life. 

I hear those eyes and I see those cries

I might never be the light in Kenma's life as Hinata was for him and I may never be able to take away the pain Kenma feels but I can try and protect him, comfort him, and accept the fact certain things that make him happy won't involve me. I might not be the person that he comes home to every day in the future and brings him complete blissful joy. I may always be the childhood friend but the least I can do is help him when he's down. The least I can do for someone who affected me the way Hinata affected him. The way he became my light. He sees himself as a dying star but in my eyes he is as important as the galaxy.  
I can't be the only one who hears you  
I lift up the sleeping heartbroken boy and carry him bridal style. Sleeping he looks even more bright. He looks at peace while sleeping from the pain he was in. I wish I could bring him peace from the pain without him escaping reality using sleep. I carry him through the hall ignoring the odd glances people give. Who cares what they think all that matters right now and forever to me is in my arms. I might not matter as much to him but I just want him to be happy even if it's not with me. He nuzzles his head unknowingly closer to my chest in his sleep and I step outside the house door. The cold night air contrast to the feeling of warmth the life in my arms is giving me. I just stare at him and take in the moment. He is at peace from the pain as he always should be. He deserves so much and more.

Tears falling down at the party  
Saddest little baby in my eye  
Fears, tell me fears, don't get me started  
I might die

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first swing at fanficition so spare me for sucking at writing for i am not much of a writing person but I just imagine scenes while listening to music and was like hmmm lets write stuff down ya know


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